This is an actual patent recently filed by Apple Computer.

For a bag.

You may have suspected how useless Apple has become as each supposedly-new product is nothing but a 10% improvement in lighting or CPU speed from their suppliers in China, but here a new low is set... and according to the United States Patent Office, a bag actually was invented... in 2016.

A few tidbits from the genius of Apple Computer and the United States Patent Office: 

A paper bag is disclosed. The paper bag may include a bag container formed of white solid bleached sulfate paper with at least 60% post-consumer content.

“Bags are often used for containing items. For example, retail bags may be used to contain items purchased at a retail store.”

“The bag may be formed of a container and a handle.”

“Those skilled in the art will readily appreciate that the detailed description given herein with respect to these figures is for explanatory purposes only and should not be construed as limiting.”

“The phraseology or terminology used herein is for the purpose of description and not limitation, such that the terminology or phraseology of the present specification is to be interpreted by the skilled artisan.”